Decoding Ser and Estar: Not your "Permanent vs. Temporary" Guide

[Also see other topics that can be challenging for English-speaking learners, here]

In Spanish, two crucial verbs, ser and estar, both translate to "to be" in English but serve different purposes. Understanding the distinction between them is essential for accurate communication, as each verb conveys different aspects of existence or state. Let's break it down: 

ESTAR is used for incidental or temporary conditions - think of it as taking a snapshot of a situation. It derives from Latin stare, (to stand) and is related to words like status, stance, and state. If you know French, stay in English likely comes from Old French ester (>estre>estre>être). Estar describes the condition or state someone or something happens to be in. 

SER, on the other hand, is used for class membership or essential qualities - not always permanent. It expresses fundamental characteristics and the true identity of a person or thing. For example, "soy estudiante" (I am a student) or "soy ingeniera" (I am an engineer) clearly refers to class membership, but could change over time.

• ¿Cómo estás? - (How are you?) 
• Possible answers: Estoy muy bien. Estoy preocupada. Estoy contento. Estamos listos. Están un poco deprimidos.
• ¿Cómo eres? - (What are you like?)
• Possible answers: Soy muy nervioso. Soy preocupona. Soy feliz. Somos listos. Soy un poco depresivo.
• ¿A qué te dedicas? - (What do you do?)
• Possible answer: Soy arquitecto, pero ahorita estoy de taxista. (I'm an architect, but am currently working as a taxi driver).

Gray areas 

1. Ser with events: Events are seen through the lens of event individuation and grounding. They're unique and identifiable entities in a specific time or place. 

• Hoy es mi cumpleaños y la fiesta es en la casa de mi mejor amiga. (Today is my birthday, and the party is at my best friend's house.)
• La conferencia no es en el centro de eventos del año pasado - es en la universidad. (The conference isn't at last year's event center, it's at the university.) 
• Recuerden que es el 5 de agosto a las 7 PM. (Remember, it's on  August 5th at 7 PM.)
• Estar could be used ironically to convey humor or highlight a contradiction: 
• ¡¿Dónde está la fiesta?! Esto parece un funeral. (Where's the party/ This looks like a funeral!)

2. Estar muerto or vivo: Estar is used because life and death are transitional states.

• Hoy estamos vivos, mañana podríamos estar muertos. (Today we are alive, tomorrow we might be dead.)

3. Ser or Estar with costs: Use ser for standard prices as in stores and estar for fluctuating/changing prices as with street vendors or open air markets. 

• ¿Cuánto es de todo? (How much is it for everything?)
• Note that ¿cuánto cuesta? can also be used to ask for how much something is. 
• ¿A* cuánto está el tomate? (How much are tomatoes today?)
• ¡El aguacate está a* 120 pesos el kilo! (Avocados are 120 pesos per kilo!)

*Note: Estar requires "a" at the beginning. This use of estar has a more colloquial flavor in Mexico. 

4. Ser or Estar with marital status (soltero, casado, viudo, divorciado): Both are correct, but ser is used when marital status is often seen as a fundamental role or identity (class membership), while estar is used when often seen as a temporary or changeable state (transition). It will really depend on each speaker.

• Soy felizmente casado desde hace 40 años. (I've been happily married for 40 years.)
• Está casada, pero sé que está considerando el divorcio. (She's married, but she's considering divorce.)
• Si es casada, no me interesa entablar una relación amorosa con ella. (If she's married, I'm not interested in a relationahip with her.)
• Estamos solteros y abiertos a una relación. (We are single and open to a relationship.) 
• Soy casado, pero ... 👀 (I'm married, but ...👀)

The choice between ser and estar often reflects societal norms, cultural attitudes, or personal preferences and can reveal the speaker’s mindset. Understanding these subtleties helps in mastering the nuances of Spanish. If you have other intricate cases you'd like to explore, let me know in the comments.